Personal Learning Lifestyle

1. Clear Out. Remove the contents of each cabinet (one cabinet at a time); jettison old and/or ineffective supplies and products. This includes all those tiny, bewitching bottles of hotel toiletries, cute little containers of jam (from gift baskets or room service), and shriveled packets of ketchup or other take-out condiments.

2. Categorize. Group remaining items into categories, e.g., (bathroom) cosmetics, dental, hair care, medications; (kitchen canned goods, glassware/mugs, cleaning products, cookware.

3. Contemplate. Do all of these items really belong in your cabinets? Think about which ones you use most often and when you actually like to use them; then transfer nonessentials to more appropriate areas (like a donation bin or perhaps the trash).

4. Cluster. Use narrow rectangular containers, preferably transparent, for easily accessible storage of products often used in tandem. For example, in the bathroom: skin care (cleanser/moisturizer/toner), dental care (toothpaste/mouthwash/floss), shaving supplies (razor/shaving cream/aftershave.

It’s sometimes difficult to get children to part with their “stuff.” They’re possessive and it’s difficult for them to see the benefits of paring down and getting organized. But once they have the experience of order, they tend to like it. To start them on the right road, here are some tips:

1. Give children a place to keep their treasures, school papers, and artwork. Nice heavy cardboard chests are on the market just for that purpose, or you can use one of those plastic drawer units placed on a closet shelf. Make a deal that when it’s full they need to go through it and make space for new things.

2. Don’t ask them to throw out toys they’ve lost interest in or outgrown; ask them to recycle them. Make them a part of giving toys to the less fortunate. Visit the hospital or shelter where their former valuables are going so they have a clear picture of the good they’re doing.

3. Rotate toys periodically so that those of current interest are handy and those they’re less enthusiastic about go in less-accessible storage. Agree that when the “old” ones come back out after a designated period of time and if they’re still not interested in them, they get recycled to charity.

The position you occupy - whether in a company, in a family, or in any other relationship - has a direct bearing on the decisions you make.

If you work in your company’s marketing department, for example, you’re probably very excited about any legitimate method of getting your product and/or business in front of the people who are in a position to buy.

When you’re confronted with a choice that affects not only you but also other people, the process becomes more complicated.

Before making any decision that involves more than one person, get input from all sides.

One decision you should make right up front is to be open minded and empathetic to the other people’s needs and desires. That decision enables you to get along better with the other people, bring balance to the process, and maintain harmony, which is important for achieving maximum effectiveness.

When a decision impacts a number of people who are part of your team, remember that decisions are more likely to be implemented effectively and enthusiastically when everyone on the team feels like an important part of that team.

When possible, include the others in the process. If involving them is either impossible or impractical, understand that their acceptance of your decision depends on your credibility. If you have a track record of using mature judgment and doing what’s right, your decision is more likely to be well received.

Possibilities exist for all of us, even for those of us who are blessed the least, and even for those of us (and maybe this is you) who are backed into a corner.

Possibilities, in fact, are not only ever-present, but indispensable. They are as necessary for the life of the mind as oxygen is for the life of the body.

The false perception of having no possibilities feels like jail. It creates a sensation of helplessness that is deadly to the mind and spirit. But possibilities, once they are recognized, help wipe out these deadly feelings and offer us the chance to choose. And it is choice, ultimately, that creates our identities.

Choice, and only choice, is what makes each person unique.

Even though possibilities always exist, we lose sight of them when we are blinded by fear.

 This fear usually starts when we fail once too often, or when we are thwarted too many times by the people around us. When this happens, our problem-solving creativity shrivels. We become merely reactive, instead of proactive. Problems become prisons.

Freedom from these self-imposed prisons comes only when we suspend fear by evoking appreciation, envisioning all of our remaining possibilities, and then choosing one. Choice is power. It charts the course of our lives. It makes us happy.

1. Pay your bills.
You got the goods or services, and you owe money for them, so pay for them.

2. Obey the laws.
Laws aren’t made to cramp your style; they’re intended to enable you and everyone else to live and operate freely and safely in a society that offers enormous rewards.

3. Keep your promises.
If your word is no good, then eventually you’re no good. You have to be dependable so that people trust you. When you keep your promises and do your best on the simple things, you are inevitably rewarded with better jobs and better opportunities.

4. Mind your own business.
When you row your own boat, you don’t have time to mind other people’s business. And when you’re doing a good job, your own business is really all the business you can handle.

Have you ever found yourself in situations where you look around and wonder, “How did I ever get here?”

The simple truth is that we participate, either knowingly or unknowingly, in the process of getting where we are. The more we observe that and pay attention, the more aware we become.

At times we all want to say, “Who, me? I had nothing to do with creating this mess! It just happened!” Or, “It was so-and-so’s fault - there’s nothing I could have done!” We feel absolutely powerless over the situation - like helpless victims.

The last thing we want to hear when we’re all caught up in our “victim story” is anything about being accountable and responsible!

Yet, it is assuming accountability that gives us power over our lives. The more we practice the habit of acting from a position of responsibility, the more effective we become as human beings, and the more successful we become as managers of our lives.

Here is a technique to release yourself from being stuck in a problem, and help you find its gift instead. Use the following list of questions and write the answers in your book of goals and dreams. You may find this method valuable for many issues now and in the future.

1. What is bothering me?

2. What are the effects of this issue on me—mentally, physically and emotionally?

3. What is the effect of the issue on those around me?

4. What does the issue cause me to do or not do?

5. What are the advantages of these effects, with respect to living my dream?

6. What are the disadvantages of these effects, with respect to living my dream?

7. How would life be different if the issue were gone?

8. Why do I need the issue?

9. What beliefs do I have that explain how this issue might have developed?

10. What are the payoffs for keeping the status quo regarding this issue?

To help you come closer to defining your dreams, sit down and ask yourself these questions to help pinpoint which goal on that list is truly your prime ambition and dream:

If I reach this prime dream, my major goal, will I be both happy and healthy?

In my quest for this dream, will I still be able to have many friends and have good relationships with my family, friends, and coworkers?

How secure will reaching this dream make me?

Is this goal something I will love to pursue for a lifetime?

What obstacles do I need to overcome to make my dream a reality?

What can I work on now to enable me to fulfill these dreams? If I want to play first violin in a symphony orchestra, write novels, own my own business, become a physician, and so on, what are the first steps I must take?

Whom should I seek as a teacher or mentor to help me reach this dream?

What is the appropriate time-line for achieving this dream? (Or can I really set one?)

Do I have the talent, knowledge, and discipline necessary to reach this particular goal?

Forgiveness is something that you do for yourself.

Many people argue that their offender doesn’t deserve to be forgiven, but what the offender deserves is entirely beside the point. You deserve to forgive that individual.

How many people do you know who are bitter and consumed with hatred because, years ago, someone - a parent, sibling, cousin, aunt, friend, neighbor, teacher, lawyer - did something hurtful to them?

The person who hurts you damages your past and controls your present, as long as you allow it. Surely you’re not going to give him or her permission to control and negatively influence your future, are you?

You can’t go as high as you’re capable of going or reach the goals you’re capable of reaching when you’re carrying the burdens of anger and bitterness. Those are heavy loads to carry, and the chances of your realizing your full potential with those two burdens on your back are nonexistent.

Even if you were successful in your profession, how happy would you be as an individual? How many friends have you seen angry or bitter people acquire? How many of them have good relationships with their families and are optimistic, upbeat, and enthusiastic about the future?

The bottom line for motivation is reward.

Some kind of reward - whether it’s a gain or a loss - is behind all behavior. The reward can be either positive or negative;

I occasionally come across people who are motivated by a negative outcome. That kind of motivation may not be healthy, but it does dictate behavior.

The rewards for “right” behavior are well known, but you may seldom consider the rewards for “wrong” or “negative” behavior.

For example, everyone knows that good grades are the reward for studying and that good health is the reward for eating right and exercising. But everyone has also, on occasion, noticed children behaving badly in order to get the attention they want.

Once, when my friend’s daughter Jenny was about 5 years old, she tried repeatedly to get her mother’s attention while her mother was on the phone. In an angry fit of frustration, Jenny set fire to some boxes in the utility room. I don’t need to tell you that mother didn’t waste any time getting off the phone when those boxes went up in flames!

Jenny’s reward for that behavior was the attention she wanted - and then some. I assure you that the “and then some” part was very negative. Consequently, Jenny never set anything on fire again.